At this present time I feel like I’m in a battle, a struggle. And it seems to be a battle from within. It doesn’t feel like it’s a direct attack or presents obvious opponents. Though, no doubt they are there. No, it feels like I’m surrounded by a dense fog of despair and discouragement; a little doubt perhaps. When I sin or look inward, it seems to compound the problem. When I disappoint God and ask for His forgiveness I honestly believe that He forgives me and frees me. This I understand and accept. However, the sense of disappointment still continues to linger. I guess I feel the weight of how far away I am from the person I expected/wished to be with God. I still stumble on little things that I thought I had a handle on.
A verse in Luke 16:10 NKJV comes to mind: “He who is faithful in what is least is faithful also in much; and he who is unjust in what is least is unjust also in much.” I’m stuck on the “least: part. I am overwhelmed when I see that God still uses me to do His work. It confuses me because God can certainly choose a better person. There are a lot more people better qualified and equipped to minister to the people I encounter. I don’t know. God apparently looks at me differently. He gives me opportunities on an ongoing basis to serve Him no matter how weak I am or how I feel about my situation. He opens doors for the lame and the broken-hearted.
Another verse comes to mind, 1 Corinthians 1:26-29 NKJV: “For you see your calling, brethren, that not many wise according to the flesh, not many mighty, not many noble, are called. But God has chosen the foolish things of the world to put to shame the wise, and God has chosen the weak things of the world to put to shame the things which are mighty; and the base things of the world and the things which are despised God has chosen, and the things which are not to bring to nothing the things that are, that no flesh should glory in His presence.”
I know of one thing that I must do no matter how I feel. One thing that must occur no matter where the battle rages. I must be faithful and trust in God. Every breath I take, every pulse I beat, confirms that He is God, I am not and that He has a purpose for me. So, while I am living in some sort of “funk of discouragement”, I press on. God has not loosed me. He promises to never let me go. To His glory I am worthy!
2 comments:
depressing. Count your blessings and evaluate who, in scripture God used. It wasn't anyone special by the world's standards for the most part. Evaluate how God equips those he uses; not really impressive by the world's standards. Keep encouraging others and listening to his voice.
Thank you for your comment and I was thinking along the same lines when I considered most people in the Bible. They were flawed and most likely NOT to succeed. But God viewed them differently and used them in very powerful ways. Thanks again for your helpful input.
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