The Fog Within The Battle

At  this present time I feel like I’m in a battle, a struggle. And it seems to be a battle from within. It doesn’t feel like it’s a direct attack or presents obvious opponents. Though, no doubt they are there. No, it feels like I’m surrounded by a dense fog of despair and discouragement; a little doubt perhaps. When I sin or look inward, it seems to compound the problem. When I disappoint God and ask for His forgiveness I honestly believe that He forgives me and frees me. This I understand and accept. However, the sense of disappointment still continues to linger. I guess I feel the weight of how far away I am from the person I expected/wished to be with God. I still stumble on little things that I thought I had a handle on.
A verse in Luke 16:10 NKJV comes to mind: “He who is faithful in what is least is faithful also in much; and he who is unjust in what is least is unjust also in much.” I’m stuck on the “least: part. I am overwhelmed when I see that God still uses me to do His work. It confuses me because God can certainly choose a better person. There are a lot more people better qualified and equipped to minister to the people I encounter. I don’t know. God apparently looks at me differently. He gives me opportunities on an ongoing basis to serve Him no matter how weak I am or how I feel about my situation. He opens doors for the lame and the broken-hearted.
Another verse comes to mind, 1 Corinthians 1:26-29 NKJV: “For you see your calling, brethren, that not many wise according to the flesh, not many mighty, not many noble, are called. But God has chosen the foolish things of the world to put to shame the wise, and God has chosen the weak things of the world to put to shame the things which are mighty; and the base things of the world and the things which are despised God has chosen, and the things which are not to bring to nothing the things that are, that no flesh should glory in His presence.”
I know of one thing that I must do no matter how I feel. One thing that must occur no matter where the battle rages. I must be faithful and trust in God. Every breath I take, every pulse I beat, confirms that He is God, I am not and that He has a purpose for me. So, while I am living in some sort of “funk of discouragement”, I press on. God has not loosed me. He promises to never let me go. To His glory I am worthy!

Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus (Lyrics)

V. 1 
O soul, are you weary and troubled?
No light in the darkness you see?
There's light for a look at the Savior,
And life more abundant and free!

Refrain 
Turn your eyes upon Jesus,
Look full in His wonderful face,
And the things of earth will grow strangely dim,
In the light of His glory and grace.

V. 2 
Through death into life everlasting
He passed, and we follow Him there;
Over us sin no more hath dominion--
For more than conquerors we are!
(Repeat refrain)

V. 3 
His Word shall not fail you--He promised;
Believe Him, and all will be well:
Then go to a world that is dying,
His perfect salvation to tell!
(Repeat refrain)

Words & Music: Helen H. Lemmel, 1922. 
This hymn is in the Public Domain.

O Christ, Brand Me Deep!

Luke 23:4 NKJV
Then Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they do.”And they divided His garments and cast lots.

Psalm 86:5 NKJV
For You, Lord, are good, and ready to forgive, And abundant in mercy to all those who call upon You.

You and I are to be branded with the spirit of forgiveness. It will go deep, very deep. Never again will we retaliate or harbor resentment. That all belongs to a dead past.
O Christ, Brand me deep. I surrender all hurts, all resentment, all retaliation. I shall love everyone-friend and foe. Only by Your grace can I do this. From this point forward, let no hate trouble me: I bear your brand, amen.
-Taken from Abundant Living, pg. 319, by E. Stanley Jones, edited by Dean Merrill, Summerside Press. Used with permission.

Matthew 6:14-16 NKJV
"For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses."

Lord, Why Do You Allow Me To Live? (A Prayer)

Lord, why do You allow me to live? Why was I even granted the ability to wake up this morning? I have done nothing to deserve life and all that is contained in it. In fact, I have been selfish in it, I continually sin in it and violate Your precious gift. I must constrain my thoughts even to just acknowledge and thank You. When I think back over my life I am convinced of one thing: I have displeased You considerably more than I have pleased You. I can see my committed acts of rebellion toward You and they are many. But for everyone I am aware of, there are hundreds, perhaps thousands of hidden sins that flow beneath the surface. Sins of thought are like drops of acid on the soul: they are a corruption from within. Sins of omission are just as grievous. My life is consumed with ignorance, selfish misdirections, unfaithfulness to Your calling, and all too familiar pride and missed opportunities.
Lord, why do You allow me to the live? Who am I that You are mindful of me? Who am I to even question You? Even my questioning has a seed of rebellion! You are God: the creator and sustainer of all good things. I am dust. I am clay that cannot form itself, bring life to itself or sustain itself.
Lord, I am nothing without You!
Lord, I can do nothing without You!
Lord, I become nothing without You!
So again I ask, why do You allow me to live? Why do You allow me to go on? I give so little in return and You have given me so much! Father, maybe I’m not to question You or to think of such things. Maybe I just need to be thankful: maybe that’s enough for now. Thank you for Your unconditional love and amazing grace. In Jesus’ name I pray, amen. - JSS

Jesus, Our Savior

John 14:6 NKJV
Jesus said to him, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me."

I cannot love you more than the amount God has placed inside of me for you. I can never love you more than God loves you. I cannot and will not be your savior, your salvation from your troubles. I can only be a faithful friend, a companion on your journey and one of the many who can help to lead you to be a better you, a child of The Most High, and a recipient of His wonderful grace. – JSS

John 15:12-14 NKJV
This is My commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends. You are My friends if you do whatever I command you.

The Discoveries Of Fasting (Part 4)

At this point I don’t believe that God has given me any clear answers to my prayers. And that’s ok because He has His own time. It’s more important to draw closer to Him in my giving, praying and fasting. Breakthroughs will come and prayers will be answered. My goal is to do more and longer fasts in the future.  Jesus fasted many times and started His ministry by fasting for forty days. It seems impossible but not with God. I’m not there yet but just maybe I’ll get to that point-God willing. Fasting helps us draw closer to God, to hear His voice a little clearer and helps us to fall in line with His will.
I thank you Father for showing me another way to deepen my relationship with You. And may Your love and grace be ever more present in my life. In Jesus’ name I pray, amen! - JSS

The Discoveries Of Fasting (Part 3)

As I rounded the corner into the home stretch on the third day, I had two thoughts regarding my next meal. One thought was to find a nice restaurant and sit down and eat a full meal. The second thought was to eat something small and light so as not to shock the system. I chose to go with the small and light mostly due to the fact that I wasn’t afforded the time to engage in gluttony. I had to get to the next destination and I was running late. So, necessity won over. Actually, I have to admit, I didn’t really have a strong craving to “pig out”. I just liked the idea of rewarding myself via smorgasbord for accomplishing such a “hard” task. - JSS

The Discoveries Of Fasting (Part 2)

I presented two petitions to God as I began my fast. The first was to ask how He wanted me to serve Him: what was to be my purpose in life. The second I will not disclose but it consisted of receiving greater strength from God. Thinking back on my journey, I believe I should have prayed more concerning these matters, however I continued to pray my daily prayers and continued reading Franklin’s book: a great resource to turn to. - JSS

The Discoveries Of Fasting (Part 1)

I just finished a three day fast with some guidance from a book called, Fasting by Jentezen Franklin. I began with the thought of only doing it for one day, thinking that I wouldn’t last more than that. However, I continued and stretched it out for two more days with the only side effect being a minimal but constant headache. The book explains that the reason why fasting creates a headache is because the body is getting rid of toxins. Furthermore, the headaches seem to go almost completely away by the third day. I noticed that mine reduced in strength but did not totally go away. I didn’t experience deep-seated hunger pains but I did notice a natural preoccupation with food and various food advertisements. I noticed how much food is prevalent in our lives and how it is available everywhere. Philippians 3:19 NKJV confirms this: “Whose end is destruction, whose god is their belly, and whose glory is in their shame—who set their mind on earthly things.” - JSS

Father, You Know My Heart (A Prayer)

Father, You know my heart and my love for You. Nothing is hidden from You. You know I long to know Your plans for me and how I can fulfill Your purpose. I may not be ready. Only You know when I will be. Please continue to guide me. Show greater clarity of your presence, Your reality in my life. Thank You, Heavenly Father for considering me worthy to receive anything from You! Even though it may not be well shown or expressed, You are my greatest love, my greatest hope, my greatest purpose for existence. May I never be hindered to be in Your presence and may I please You in every way. It’s in Jesus’ name I pray, amen.
- JSS

Be Strong! Be Courageous!

Philippians 4:13 NKJV
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

Joshua 1:5 NIV
No one will be able to stand against you all the days of your life. As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you nor forsake you.

Be assured that the same God who walked with Moses, Joshua, Elijah, Peter, James, John and Paul now lives within you… The heroes of the faith had one thing in common: they were all ordinary people with no power of their own. The difference is the mighty presence of God.
Taken from Experiencing God Day By Day, by Henry T. Blackaby and Richard Blackaby, pg. 222. Used with permission.

Joshua 1:7 NIV
Be strong and very courageous.

Humble Yourself

Luke 14:7-11 NKJV
So He told a parable to those who were invited, when He noted how they chose the best places, saying to them: “When you are invited by anyone to a wedding feast, do not sit down in the best place, lest one more honorable than you be invited by him; and he who invited you and him come and say to you, ‘Give place to this man,’ and then you begin with shame to take the lowest place. But when you are invited, go and sit down in the lowest place, so that when he who invited you comes he may say to you, ‘Friend, go up higher.’ Then you will have glory in the presence of those who sit at the table with you. For whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted.”

Proverbs 25:6-7 NIV
Do not exalt yourself in the king’s presence, and do not claim a place among his great men; it is better for him to say to you, “Come up here,” than for him to humiliate you before his nobles.

Proverbs 27:2 NIV84
Let another praise you, and not your own mouth; someone else, and not your own lips.

Lord, I am nothing without You.
Lord, I can do nothing without You.
Lord, I become nothing without You.
- JSS

Let's Rise Up! (Lyrics)

V.1
We are God’s people.
We are God’s plan,
For a dry and thirsty land.
So let’s rise up,
And together we’ll stand,
As the Spirit takes our hands.

Chorus
Let’s rise up!
Let’s rise up!
Let’s rise up,
In the name of the Lord!
Let’s rise up!
Let’s rise up!
Let’s rise up,
In the name of the Lord,
Of the Lord!

V. 2
Reach for the widows,
The crippled and the lame,
And to all those in between.
And tell the story,
Of the Lord Who redeems,
And the greatest love,
They’ll ever see.

Chorus
Let’s rise up!
Let’s rise up!
Let’s rise up,
In the name of the Lord!
Let’s rise up!
Let’s rise up!
Let’s rise up,
In the name of the Lord,
Of the Lord!

- JSS

I Have Chosen and Refined Thee (Part 2)

Pain’s furnace heat within me quivers,
God’s breath upon the flame doth blow;
And all my heart in anguish shivers
And trembles at the fiery glow;
And yet I whisper, “As God’s will!”
And in the hottest fire hold still.

He comes and lays my heart, all heated,
On the hard anvil, minded so
Into His own fair shape beat it
With His great hammer, blow on blow;
And yet I whisper, “As God’s will!”
And at His heaviest blows hold still.

He takes my softened heart and beats it;
The sparks fly, off at every blow;
He turns it o’er and o’er and heats it,
And lets it cool, and makes it glow;
And yet I whisper, “As God’s will!”
And in His mighty hand hold still.

Why should I murmur? For the sorrow
Thus only longer-lived would be;
The end may come, and will tomorrow,
When God has done His work in me;
So I say trusting, “As God will!”
And, trusting to the end, hold still.
- Julius Sturm

I Have Chosen And Refined Thee (Part 1)

Isaiah 48:10 KJV
Behold, I have refined thee, but not with silver; I have chosen thee in the furnace of affliction.

Does not the word come like a soft shower, assuaging the fury of the flame? Yes, is it not an asbestos armor, against which the heat has no power? Let the affliction come – God has chosen me. Poverty, thou mayest stride in at my door, but God is in the house already, and he has chosen me. Sickness, thou mayest intrude; but I have a balsam ready – God has chosen me. Whatever befall me in this vale of tears, I know that He has chosen me.
Fear not, Christian, Jesus is with thee. In all thy fiery trials, His presence is both thy comfort and safety. He will never leave one whom He has chosen for His own. “Fear not, for I am with thee,” is His sure word of promise to His chosen ones in the furnace of affliction.”
- C. H. Spurgeon

Jesus, The One For All (Lyrics)

V. 1      
Don’t you know

That He already knows,

And He’s gone

Wherever you go

And can’t you see,

If He died for me,

He’ll also set you free.

Chorus 
‘Cause Jesus, the one for all.

He took our sins

And nailed them to the cross.

He laid down His life,

So we could stand tall.

Jesus, the one for all.

V. 2      
So if you step

Into the darkness

To face this world

All alone.

There is a light,

A beautiful light,

That will always

Guide you home.

Ending 
He laid down His life,

So we could stand tall.

Jesus, the one for all.

Jesus, the one for all.

Jesus, the one for all.

Inspired by Romans 6:10
- JSS

The Idolization Of Worry (Part 2)

It is interesting to note that in this small section of Matthew (see Part 1), the word “worry” is mentioned six times by our Lord. Why does he mention it so much in this short passage? I believe one reason is obvious. We, like those who were listening to Him on the mountain, are people who worry. We worry over almost anything imaginable and more specifically over those things that are most immediate to us; those things that have grabbed our attention throughout the day. Why is this a problem? Shouldn’t we be concerned about our family, friends, our work, paying our bills? Shouldn’t we be thinking about and planning for our future? Is Jesus telling us to release ourselves from all provisions, to be naked (both literally and figuratively) as it were, and to call on Him every second when we need something. I don’t believe so. I think His emphasis goes much deeper. 
I think He’s saying to us, “Don’t make worry into an idol.” More specifically, “Don’t make the worry over money and what it can provide your idol.” The reason I believe this is because He uses that concise word, “therefore”, as He begins Matthew 6:24. That “therefore” points us to the previous passage which reads, “No one can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or else he will be loyal to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and mammon.” (Matthew 6:24 NKJV) Mammon is an older word for money or riches. In other words, worry over money and/or the lack of it to provide for our needs/wants can be an idol. It can be a fabricated god that we are loyal to, thereby rejecting out true God. And Jesus doesn’t allow us to ride the fence: “You cannot serve God and mammon.”
Worry and our constant preoccupations of this world divides our loyalty to God. Worry when it is magnified reflects a lack of trust in God and our relationship to Him. So what do we do? Well, Jesus provides the answer…”But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.” (Matthew 6:33 NKJV) Jesus points us back to our king, our father and all that is contained in Him. If we get this right every time then our worries, concerns (which can be another word for worry) of this world will be taken care of. We can trust that. 
And Jesus is not just talking from His head or making something up. He lived it every single day! Jesus did not worry because His focus and loyalty and love was toward His father. As a result, He was provided with everything He needed. When Peter came to Him talking about needing to pay taxes, Jesus told Him he’d find a coin in a fishes mouth. When He needed to feed the five thousand (and even himself if I may add), He took and miraculously multiplied a boy’s lunch. The scriptures do not record that He went walking around naked, so He had clothes on His back and shoes on His feet. Even when He was experiencing His darkest hour in the Garden Of Gethsemane, He was not alone. God was there to provide His son’s need for comfort and peace. Jesus instructs us to turn our affection back to our father. Don’t make worry (especially as it applies to money and what it provides) an idol. If we seek Him first, our provisions will come. - JSS

The Idolization Of Worry (Part 1)

Matthew 6:25 NKJV
“Therefore I say to you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink; nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing?”

Matthew 6:27 NKJV
“Which of you by worrying can add one cubit to his stature?”

Matthew 6:28 NKJV
“So why do you worry about clothing?”

Matthew 6:31 NKJV
“Therefore do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’”

Matthew 6:34 NKJV
“Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.”

Matthew 6:33 NKJV
“But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.”

Hypocrisy

Sin makes hypocrites of us all. – JSS

Lord, I have not been myself lately. I’ve not been feeling well. Physically I’m fine but I’m speaking in a spiritual sense, I’ve not been the same. Upon reflection I’ve realized that my sin has made me unsettled, uneasy and not something I can dismiss over a reasonable amount of time. I feel like I’ve disappointed You, our relationship and certain expectations that I have of myself. It wasn’t easy to identify at first and I often looked at external factors such as, work, people, and circumstances. After some time and reflection I guess I’m faced with a sense of hypocrisy that exists in my life (probably more than I care to admit).
I strive on a regular basis to grow in my faith. I reach toward greater experiences with You Lord. I long for a deep closeness that I can’t find with any other. It is unmistakable that I am Your child. These things, and the realization of them, makes my mistakes even harder to bear at times. As I grow, does that mean my sin lessens; becomes less intense? Does it become less recognizable to me, to others? Does it affect me more or should it affect me more as I progress? Your Word says: “Moreover the law entered that the offense might abound. But where sin abounded, grace abounded much more…” (Romans 5:20 NKJV) The emphasis is on Your grace and the increase of it when sin increases. I’ve reasonably understood, applied, relied upon and placed great faith in Your grace Lord. And this is usually what helps me to return and live/be in right relationship with You.
This time around seems different, however. Sin seems to have pulled me into a place and has kept me there. It has knocked me down a few pegs. I expected greater control, easier decision-making, less willingness to give in. Lord, it’s not a salvation issue since I know that I am Yours forever. I am sealed and cleansed under the blood of Jesus. I am saved! It’s a self issue. I value momentary and occasional repetitive sin over anything else; You, Father, my soul, others, my convictions, character…you name it. I throw them out the window, trample on them, place them on a shelf, exclude them in the equation of my life. For what; a temporary sensory thrill? It doesn’t make sense. And it must change. I must change!
Lord, all I am left with is to ask for Your forgiveness. I humbly ask You to forgive me. I don’t understand nor can I control it all. I need You to understand, to control me, my life, my relationship with You. Your mercy, love and grace are what I truly need. Please Lord, magnify in my heart as well as my life. Break the bondage that sin/Satan wishes to exert on me. May Your “grace abound much more.” In Jesus name I pray, amen! - JSS

God's Greater Gift Of Grace

Romans  5:15-17 NIV
But the gift is not like the trespass. For if the many died by the trespass of the one man, how much more did God’s grace and the gift that came by the grace of the one man, Jesus Christ, overflow to the many! Nor can the gift of God be compared with the result of one man’s sin: The judgment followed one sin and brought condemnation, but the gift followed many trespasses and brought justification. For if, by the trespass of the one man, death reigned through that one man, how much more will those who receive God’s abundant provision of grace and of the gift of righteousness reign in life through the one man, Jesus Christ!

Adam’s sin and Christ’s restitution are not equal. Christ’s redemption is much greater. And it states later in Chapter 5:20, “But where sin increased grace increased all the more.” So when we sin we should come to the Father with incredible hope that His grace will fully cover any trespass(es) we have done. It’s almost like God’s telling us, “Come to me, come and let me convince you how much more I’m concerned with restoring you. I want to show you that although your sin has torn some of the fabric of our relationship, my limitless love and grace can easily mend it. In fact, I will make it even stronger in that area. I will  reinforce those areas where you are weak. I will help you to overcome your transgressions because I’ll pour all that I have into you through the Holy Spirit. I care more about who you are in my son and where you’re going than what you’ve done. ‘I tell you that in the same way there will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who do not need to repent.’ So, come and live in my abundant love, mercy and grace! Live on in hope in the redemption of Christ! - JSS

A Love Letter

I love you! I shed my own blood for you to make you clean. You are new! Believe it is true! You are lovely in my eyes and I created you to be just as you are. Do not criticize yourself or be discouraged for not being perfect in your own eyes. This leads only to frustration. I want you to TRUST ME, one step, one day at a time. Dwell in my power and love. Be free-be yourself. Don’t allow other people to run you. I will guide you if you let me. Be aware of my presence in everything. I give you love, joy, peace. Look to me. I am your Shepherd and will lead you. FOLLOW ME only! Listen and I will tell you my will. I love you, I love you! Let it flow from you-spill over to all you touch. Be not concerned with yourself. You are my responsibility. I will change you. You are to love yourself and love others simply because I love you. Take your eyes off yourself. Look only at me! I lead, I change, I make, but not when you are trying. I won’t fight your efforts. You are mine. Let me have the joy of making you like Christ. Let me love you! Let me give you joy, peace and kindness. No one else can. Do you see? You are not your own. You have been bought with blood and now you belong to me. It is not your concern how I deal with you. Your only command is to look to me and me alone. Never to yourself and never to others. I love you. Do not struggle. Relax in my love. I know what is best and will do it with you, in you and through you. My will is perfect. My love is sufficient. I will supply all your needs. Look to me.
I love you,
Your Heavenly Father

Taken from a copy that a Christian truck driver gave to me while we were at a truck stop. Used with permission.