Lord, why do You allow me to live? Why was I even granted the ability to wake up this morning? I have done nothing to deserve life and all that is contained in it. In fact, I have been selfish in it, I continually sin in it and violate Your precious gift. I must constrain my thoughts even to just acknowledge and thank You. When I think back over my life I am convinced of one thing: I have displeased You considerably more than I have pleased You. I can see my committed acts of rebellion toward You and they are many. But for everyone I am aware of, there are hundreds, perhaps thousands of hidden sins that flow beneath the surface. Sins of thought are like drops of acid on the soul: they are a corruption from within. Sins of omission are just as grievous. My life is consumed with ignorance, selfish misdirections, unfaithfulness to Your calling, and all too familiar pride and missed opportunities.
Lord, why do You allow me to the
live? Who am I that You are mindful of me? Who am I to even question You? Even my questioning has a seed of rebellion!
You are God: the creator and
sustainer of
all good things. I am dust. I am clay that cannot form itself, bring life to itself or sustain itself.
Lord, I am nothing without You!
Lord, I can do nothing without You!
Lord, I become nothing without You!
So again I ask, why do You allow me to live? Why do You allow me to go on? I give so little in return and You have given me
so much! Father, maybe I’m not to question You or to think of such things. Maybe I just need to be thankful: maybe that’s enough for now. Thank you for Your unconditional love and amazing grace. In Jesus’ name I pray, amen. - JSS
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